Looseing my battle with depression!!!! Head doc!!!!

my daughter has depression issues and went to Walmart for script
and they told her there was a state or federal program (N.H.) that was in place to fund phsyc meds and the script was only $7.-

Hope this helps , it cant hurt to ask peace A-Steel

First, the test isnt really all that expensive. I dont use it for cosmetic I take it because of my injuries. And until recently I have never really broken the 300mg mark. I will have health care but I wont have it till april 1st. I tried to get state health care but it takes about 1 month to get an appointment and another month to see a pysch. I will have health insurance by then. All this shit started because I lost my health insurance and couldnt afford the meds without it. I do feel a lot better talking about it. I do want to get CBT but I have to wait for the insurance. I also find that my doctors in the past have not listened to me at all and did whatever they thought was best. The cymbalta was prescribed by my PCP and he listened to me. When I went to see the specialist is when the "we know it all" became apparent and I hated it. It was always a one way discussion with none of my input considered. I am also not taking any meds I havent been prescribed before the only diffrence is I am not personally prescribed these meds.

Head doc do you know any good Pyschs down here. I use to take st johnsons wort but I just cant afford any right now.

Also I can see how you all view my taking test as an unnecesary expense but lets face it, its cheap. Test cost less then $10 a week. I will also say that I feel much better since i took that larger shot. And again I have been on for a long time(4 years) split 50/50 between legit and black market. When I can afford the scripts I get them. Anyways I guess thats about it for now.

Head doc I really dont think I am leaving anything out. Trust me I want to get better and leaving out any details wont help my cause.

Posted by: pillsbury

oh my! dare i say im with bus king? fucking first!
seriously get a fucking med evaluation. yes is terrible you are in such a state but sadly you are not helping yourself at all so seems you have only yourself to blame. you know what you need to do so why arent you doing it?
seeing as you have been taking meds you have to have a psychiatrist.

Also "Hotrocks," nothing but love and respect however I think my main problem is a lack of a support system that others have. I have no one really anymore. I just need to get to those weights. I am gonna go tommorow morning again to the gym before work.

Posted by: neworleansgt

I dont think its fair to say its my fault. I didnt plan to get crippled in an accident. I didnt schedule my fathers death or a hurricane to take everything I owned. Now I do agree that many of my decesions have led me to this point but this was never my intention or my goals to end up here.

P.S. When someone has real depression knowing what to do and the inability to do those things are one of the curses of depression. If you dont suffer from it you really cant understand it.

Also "Hotrocks," nothing but love and respect however I think my main problem is a lack of a support system that others have. I have no one really anymore. I just need to get to those weights. I am gonna go tommorow morning again to the gym before work.

how about Tulane Medical School? See psychiatrist or psychologist. Or maybe both! Costs are usually lower. NOS, I never doubted you. I just couldn't put all the pieces together. Good luck and best of health. Now that you've opened the topic, let us know what is going on as you move thru this.

I forgot about tulane. I use to live right down the street from there. Thanks head doc. I'm not sure why but man I feel soo good just bringing it up with you all. Yet when I talk to friends or my mom about it I get nothing. Strange??

i am truly impressed by the responses here! although some seem to be harsh they all demonstrate people caring and concerned. having some experience with this subject i can see both sides of these concerns. personally, pyche meds really did not work all that well, working out seemed to be more effective. but, as has been pointed out, you need an experienced psyche med person to help you navigate thru them. to some extent, the path makes no difference, it is the here and now that we have to deal with. in this thread we see the makings of a support system that has no problem weighing in on the good and the bad, a mirror that has no problem reflecting all aspects. by all means, filter this input and move forward with fighting this.

jb

Hi Sgt.
Are you a vet? Or currently in the military reserves or guard?

Posted by: neworleansgt

I forgot about tulane. I use to live right down the street from there. Thanks head doc. I'm not sure why but man I feel soo good just bringing it up with you all. Yet when I talk to friends or my mom about it I get nothing. Strange??

Not really that strange. If you've been the strong one, ppl have a hard time accepting that you have needs. Look out for #1 right now. I've been having some bouts with depression because of memory loss due to brain damage from wreak. Was that a sentance? Haha be strong and take care of yourself.

Posted by: BKK117

Hi Sgt.
Are you a vet? Or currently in the military reserves or guard?

I did go to the gym today and it felt great!!!!
I think Im back on the wagon boys but I will keep this updated. And yes this is awesome all the responses I get especially the harsh because it makes you really think

tough love baby! i think too many of us have seen good bro's go down because of being side tracked. the other thing that many of us forget is taking steroids has many sides including wild fluctuaction in hormones other than just test resulting in very unpredictable results with some. this should not be discounted. fight the good fight, work out and get some sun! believe me when i say i feel your pain.

jb

I deleted my post because I tend to be too harsh sometimes. You aren't alone, just keep pushing.

No way Bellina I may be depressed but im far from stupid and naive. I love all points of view. And you are right. Im not all that sensitive, but very logical in my approaches to myself and what not. I try to step away and look into my situation and not out. THats whats so fustrating at the moment.

Hey, I've dealt with depression for years. People never understand that you don't need a reason to be depressed. For me it always seemed to be cyclical in nature. I'd be on top of it for a while then I would crash. I've been off prescription meds for years now and glad. Adderall and other meds only alleviated it some of the time. It seemed the anti's would "raise the bottom line" of how depressed I could be and adderall, though a great stimulant, would leave me feeling like a burned out crackhead. Again, I'm so glad I'm not relying on these anymore. Any kind of intense workout (heavy lifting, kickboxing, running the canyon shirtless on a sunny day) is a lifeline. I listened to Tony Robbins years ago and always remembered one thing he said about psychology following physiology. Things like forcing yourself to smile or laugh to break the negative emotions/thoughts even though you don't feel like it. Same with just getting up and going to exercise to change your mental state rather than waiting until you feel like it. In this way you take control of how you feel. May sound easy to some, but to a depressed person it's a daily struggle. Anyway I'm rambling here but thought I'd spew some thoughts. Keep on. We do our time then we're out.

My older sister suffers from severe manic depression, but fortunately she's in a position to have easy access to meds and psychiatrist, which is a bit of a shame that you don't seem to be. Are you sure you can't find a way, find the money, to get a script for some meds? Sure they're not always the best line of defence for everyone, and sometimes you need to trial and error (read: $$$$$$$$$) to determine what drug/s work best for you but something you shouldn't really rule out, especially after reading what you've said.

Talking always helps, so does writing. Before bedtime, try writing, not typing, a bit about almost anything... the good, the bad, the ugly... how productive you were at work, how much of an asshole your boss is, how you sometimes miss your ex... kind of like a diary really. No need to keep it though, definitely don't read back over it.

rhinofight is right about forcing a smile and a laugh. Breaking the negativity really helps, which is why running, lifting, listening to heavy music (if that's your thing!) are all good.

A psychologist told my sister to try and have at least 4 (preferably 6) things in her life that she's passionate about (this is actually really good), and to write them down just to reaffirm that. Before, she could only name 2, but was advised to take cooking classes, start yoga, read fantasy just to see if she could identify a few more things she enjoys. Most depressed people can not genuinely name 4 things, so when one aspect of their life falls down, it's not just "one aspect", it's a fair chunk of their life.
Also, on those 4-6 things, she had to keep a bit of a diary on what she's been up to (writing before bedtime) with those things to make sure she didn't "lose" them from her life (and go back to having ~2 things she enjoys in life), eg, "Learned how to make croissants today from scratch! Was difficult, and got the first few wrong, but the later ones turned out nice. Next week, we move onto stir frys... maybe i'll try a few out at home beforehand"

Ok I'm rambling way too much! This reminds me, time to ring her and say hi

Oh and you never need an "excuse" to be depressed, and anyone that says or tries to say otherwise doesn't deserve your time buddy. Keep us updated on how things progress! Things will get better (and sounds like they're picking up now)

Hey NewOrleanSgt.
How have things been?