Has depression made you a stronger person?

truly not being scared of death is a scary thing in and of itself... i fear only one thing and that is being handicapped for life... want a good rush, get on top of an LIRR train in ronkonkoma and take it all the way to penn station...you will wanna piss ur pants when you hit the tunnel and there is 2-3 feet between the top of the train and the roof of the tunnel... then you can get off, go to charlie 'O's and have a few beers.

When i finished College I was in debt, with no job prospects, no "love of my life" and basically felt like shit. I continued feeling horrible for myself and turned to massive amounts of weed. Weed made my long term problems seem like nothing, but in fact, my student loan continued to climb, while my physique and drive fizzled. Finally, something happened whithin my family that sorta made me "snap" back to the old me. I loved the gym again, looked forward to it. I wanted to work to contribute to society and interact with people again, where's for a while working was just a time between me being high and feeling sorry for myself. But as I type this in my parents house with two joint in my room, I think of how the 6 bottles of test beside my recently very activ gym bag just don't seem right. And I think I should flush those mother fuckers down the drain and make this a november to remember. With death comes new life. Ive dealt with two death per say. One was a physical death that had little bearing on me personally, but the family stress was still there. The other death was old McBastard killing lazy pot head McBastard. I'm 21, and I'm glad i've snapped out of this before it got worse. I remember the turning point very well, and remember just how down I was getting. I wrote all my goals and put them in random order, and decided that before I leave home and am ready 100% to be on my own, i must conquor half those goals on my own. Every time I want to drink or smoke or skip a workout I think "How is this going to bring me to my goals" and when i realize that it won't, I hit the gym, I pick up a shift at work, I relax, and I stay away. Places like the Bolex help, and i'm glad to be back. Tomorrow is a new day, a new month and a new me; the old me.

yea i used to self medicate with pot. (hydro indica) been off for almost a month and feel more motivated and have more drive. when i did have a smoke(after being off for a few days) i could really notice the difference in my mood. much more paranoid and anxious. that shit can really fuck your life as it makes you feel happy to be a deadbeat. i was smoking 5 grams of hydro a day through a bong, works out about 150 - 200 bowls, everyday. not something im proud of but i am proud that i have given it away. blackninja.

never liked pot. always had a problem with benzos and alcohol when i was younger.